Dating by Design

If you are a single, you are not alone. Dating is a phenomenon of our culture that ranges from an exhilarating experience to a disastrous regret. Can we find a relationship that is meaningful and fulfilling? Tim and Brenda answer this question.

After years of navigating singleness, Tim & Brenda dated eleven times in two weeks and got married 120 days later. Their life experience is inspiration for "Dating by Design," a program that will inspire and equip singles to develop deeper relationships and radically change the way singles see and experience dating.

	Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
	Finding the Love of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren
	More Than a Match by Michael and Amy Smalley
	Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons by Neil Clark Warren with Ken Abraham

Tim and Brenda: An eHarmony Story

Tim & Brenda are a Success Story on eHarmony's web site showing their engagement video. 3-14-07
(Scroll down the list and look for "Tim and Brenda")

Question: Who has a better story than two sisters who both got married to eHarmony matches? Answer: A father who married off two daughters in two years through eHarmony!

Brenda joined on a dare. Tim joined out of desperation. (Just kidding.) Seriously, eHarmony helped Tim in two ways by confirming his decision to leave a poor relationship and to then find the best one. Tim was engaged and having doubts. He and his fiance both took the eHarmony personality profile...and never matched. It said something.

Brenda and Tim met over a year later. They lived only a couple of miles from eachother meaning they could have met by accident at the grocery store...but they didn't. eHarmony connected them. They had mutual friends, ran in similar circles, and yet would not have met except via eHarmony.

Brenda's sister Naomi moved in with the couple temporarily after graduating from college. She was constantly expressing that it was impossible to meet any good guys. Tim and Brenda paid for her eHarmony membership to get some peace and encourage her to know that there were good men in the world who she would click with. It worked. She met someone in 2 months...and got married in a year.

Now Tim and Brenda have two eHarmony babies...girls who are here in this world because of a computer and two people it matched. At first, Brenda was slightly embarassed to tell people how she met TIm, but today she is so grateful to eHarmony because not only did she meet the love of her life - but in addition she became a mother and has had many dreams come true because of the man eHarmony brought into her life. Everytime we share our story with others, they melt, tear up or think it is amazing. We know it is a great story because we feel blessed by the great life we have been able to build together...because of a simple tool designed to match soulmates. What a gift!

First Attractions...
Common interests in technology, sports, music, religion, etc. first attracted us to eachother. We seemed to have everything in common. Then after getting to know eachother in person we felt like kindrid spirits.

Tim and Brenda believe that even if everything matched identically in the personality dimensions of eHarmony, men and women are so inherently different that it would be enough to complement each other and make life exciting. So it's good to have everything going for you to make a relationship work.

Tim was so in tune with Brenda after only a few weeks that he made her dreams come true even before knowing what they were. Brenda had always dreamed of getting engaged at her college, but after graduating she gave up on that dream. Brenda taught a speech class at the same college where she had graduated. Tim surprised her in front of her class with a magical proposal complete with candlelight dinner and romance. In the end she did get engaged at her college…but not how she had imagined it.

The First Date...
Their first date was a couple of weeks after the first communication on eHarmony. It was 4 straight hours talking in a restaurant that rushed by like 5 minutes. Tim couldn't take his eyes off of Brenda and barely touched his food. Tim's jaw was on the floor during that entire first date. He kept looking for a fatal flaw but fortunately never found it.

It was fun for them to find out from each other what might have matched. With eHarmony, you start a date knowing this is a quality person for you and only the chemistry needs to work. Time is such a precious thing, it is good to start ahead of the game.

Due to a mission trip and other things that came up, it took a month before their second date. Brenda picked Tim up at the airport...and it changed everything. She was looking for a man that had his own tuxedo. Tim, being a magician, owned three! After two weeks of serious dating, there were just no red flags. They knew that they had each found the special one theyr were looking for and there was no reason to delay. They got married 120 days later!

The eHarmony Difference...
Other dating sites could match on basic characteristics, but those things are easily faked or even lied about. It's more difficult to lie about your personality profile. You can also get to a deeper level faster through the stepped process. You feel safe at each moment to simply end a communication with someone that is not right for you.

It's not easy being a Christian and dating. Tim remembered going on Match.com and looking for that right someone. They had the check box for status...single, married, or separated. Question: Why are married or separated people dating? eHarmony is simple to use and fun to figure out how it matches. It is a wonderful way to know there are quality people out there beyond your work or school. eHarmony creates a fantastic opportunity to talk to or meet some incredible people.

Through the pre-marital counseling at their church the eHarmony advantage was confirmed. After taking the PREPARE Pre-Marital Inventory, they both finished within two minutes of each other. A couple of weeks later when the results came back, they matched in 99% of the areas identified by the inventory. Their pastor said that in all his experience he had never seen anything like it before. There just wasn't anything to be concerned about that would put off getting married.